There were a few things I wanted to share in this account, namely: discovering the world of signs and expressions, the Christmas Caroling glee, the art of persuading people, and the delight of writing.
In the World of Signs. I posted this in our class blog, “this afternoon, start na klase namin sa sign language...another interesting thing...perhaps a tiny thing contributory to my discernment...” One of my classmates commented, “Congratulations! I do not think it's a tiny matter... nothing is little when we serve God. It's in our littleness — vulnerabilities, imperfections, inadequacies, and even unpreparedness — that the Lord can perfectly use us. It's when we are strong that we fade because grace is not an accessory, it is sustenance. I expect you to teach me the sign language in Tagaytay and gawin nating ministry yan sa T3! In God, nothing is impossible. Go and shine!” My classmate was so supportive in his words of encouragement.
Rewind: After weighing the pros and cons of joining the sign language class, I resolved to enroll in the three-month course for two reasons: first, the opportunity was already there; and second, I would be discovering the world of the deaf and mute. The opportunity was within my grasp and this might not come again. If I would let it pass, perhaps, it would be difficult to make myself available for this course in the future and I probably would not have much interest by then. I had to sacrifice my Sunday siesta to attend the classes. What would be the worth of three months of Sunday siestas compared to an invaluable discovery that would last a lifetime?
My experience, during the family day of Special Education (SPED) La Salle–Davao last December 9, of gaining access into the world of the deaf and mute had stirred in me a different feeling of fulfillment. What would seem to be an ordinary classroom lesson turned out to be a really amazing encounter. It was not quite easy to move one’s fingers with accuracy and dexterity in order to convey a message. It was actually confusing. The slightest mistake could change an entire message.
Indeed, it was rewarding and meaningful for a beginner like me to experience communicating with the deaf and mute. The significant matters I learned in this endeavor were: how to reach out to them; how to encourage them to have a beautiful outlook in life; and how to let them feel that they are no different from the others in terms of achieving their goals in life and that at times, they can even surpass the capabilities of the others. For me, simple gestures of reaching out to them which would give them so much joy may be in the form of a warm smile; greeting “hi” or “hello” using sign language; and a conscious effort on my part to understand and try to learn more about how they communicate and interact with people. I looked forward to the succeeding sign language classes because it would involve an actual conversation with the deaf and the mute. Did they feel God’s presence? Yes. In their silence, God spoke and they listened. In their quietude, they spoke to God and God listened.
Christmas Caroling. The caroling activity gave me a flashback of my Novitiate days — at that time, we (Maramisa Class) were in cassocks singing the jolly piece of Ryan Cayabyab’s “Kumukutikutitap,” the heartwarming “What Child Is This?” and other yuletide songs. The Novitiate caroling was one of the ways in which novices like us were able to share the joy of the holiday season. Our primary goal was to bring the spirit of Christmas into every family. Raising funds was just a secondary purpose. Although everybody was tired, there was no giving up and the practices continued until fruition.
We, the DWFC-Davao community, also did the same thing from December 5-15 with that same goal. One affirming experience was this: Tita Mary Yap, our guide, once told me that she wanted our group to visit the houses of her friends and sing for them because she found our Christmas liturgy to be very appropriate for the families, particularly with regard to the selection and arrangement of the songs. Moreover, Ate Malou repeatedly said that our group was the “most requested group.” What was the secret behind the group’s success? As I mentioned earlier, we were not the best singers among the crop. We simply made good use of our resources — the talents of each one in playing the instruments. The significant matters that also helped made our dream a realization were the positive disposition and cooperation among all; active participation of everyone; words of encouragement to one another; and giving credit where credit is due.
What struck me most throughout the caroling was the warm expression of affection among the family members whom we visited. It was so touching to see them hugging and kissing one another.
Dale was right. On the first week of the caroling, a seminarian appeared lonely and lacked enthusiasm. He chose to remain in the seminary when everyone else was excited for the caroling. I asked him the reason for his withdrawn attitude. I learned that he was transferred to another group because there were already twenty in the group where he belonged and the L300 van could no longer accommodate all of them. I empathized with him and he narrated the whole story.
I had just finished reading a chapter in Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job.” Dale said that “the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.” I assumed that this seminarian somehow felt a sense of rejection the moment he was asked to transfer to another vehicle. We had a good talk and I emphasized his good qualities. The next day, he readily joined his new group. Later, I learned that he began to actively participate in the singing. Dale was right in saying that, “the way to the top and develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” A heartfelt appreciation made the difference. It could turn a gloomy face into a smiling one. How I wished, no matter how difficult it would be, that I could give my sincerest appreciation not only to the lonely to boost their spirit but to everyone in the community. I said this because I had not been used to giving an on the spot verbal appreciation. With what had happened, I realized that the best way of showing appreciation of others would be in the form of spoken words told to them in their presence.
The Delight of Writing. Writing had been my passion — I love writing and I like scribbling my simple experiences, my deepest thoughts, my innermost feelings, and my encounters with the ordinary and extraordinary things. Writing would not only refer to the moving of the pen and leaving traces of ink in a sheet of paper. Sincere and serious writing would require time and the merger between the heart and mind. Time could outline the insight of the heart and the sentiment of the mind.
The heart could not express its deepest feelings and the mind could not articulate its most precious thoughts when they would be engulfed with noise, blare, and other forms of disturbances. They would not shine and their brilliance could not be recognized and even much more when they would be surrounded with so many other lights — lights in their various intensity, frequency, and polarization. The beauty of one’s light would be identified and recognized when it would shine alone and radiate its own light — the light that would stand out in a dark room.
Furthermore, the success of writing would depend on the current state of the body. A sound and relaxed body would be more productive than a body undergoing pressure and turmoil. Writing would be more creative when it would be done with dedication, love, and joy and when it would be free from the constraints of time and demands of deadlines. Writing would best be an expression of what was from within and an imprint of the inner thoughts made concrete. The beauty of writing would arise when the mind would be tranquil, the heart would be serene, and the body would be calm.
There were many things that transpired in the past days which I would like to write about — my reflections on the vocation campaign, the regency evaluation, the Mt. Apo trek, my aspirations and hopes, and my personal struggles, but these did not materialize. I did not want to write just for the sake of writing. I would want to reflect and savor every movement of my pen on the paper and every word that would be published for I believed that those experiences, sparks of feelings, and collection of encounters would form the sacred stories to be shared. I considered these sacred because these were the very moments which would remind me of the beautiful movement of God’s hand in my life.
In my struggle to put things in their proper order, behind the dichotomy of success and failure or achievement and disappointment would be the wonderful grace radiating from the Blessed Sacrament. As I ended this write-up, I started to think on how to plan out my schedule in buying Christmas gifts for the people dear to me — these people, who in their own little ways, had inspired and touched my life to the fullest and would form part of my continuing discernment.
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