There were a few things I wanted to share in this account, namely: discovering the world of signs and expressions, the Christmas Caroling glee, the art of persuading people, and the delight of writing.
In the World of Signs. I posted this in our class blog, “this afternoon, start na klase namin sa sign language...another interesting thing...perhaps a tiny thing contributory to my discernment...” One of my classmates commented, “Congratulations! I do not think it's a tiny matter... nothing is little when we serve God. It's in our littleness — vulnerabilities, imperfections, inadequacies, and even unpreparedness — that the Lord can perfectly use us. It's when we are strong that we fade because grace is not an accessory, it is sustenance. I expect you to teach me the sign language in Tagaytay and gawin nating ministry yan sa T3! In God, nothing is impossible. Go and shine!” My classmate was so supportive in his words of encouragement.
Rewind: After weighing the pros and cons of joining the sign language class, I resolved to enroll in the three-month course for two reasons: first, the opportunity was already there; and second, I would be discovering the world of the deaf and mute. The opportunity was within my grasp and this might not come again. If I would let it pass, perhaps, it would be difficult to make myself available for this course in the future and I probably would not have much interest by then. I had to sacrifice my Sunday siesta to attend the classes. What would be the worth of three months of Sunday siestas compared to an invaluable discovery that would last a lifetime?
My experience, during the family day of Special Education (SPED) La Salle–Davao last December 9, of gaining access into the world of the deaf and mute had stirred in me a different feeling of fulfillment. What would seem to be an ordinary classroom lesson turned out to be a really amazing encounter. It was not quite easy to move one’s fingers with accuracy and dexterity in order to convey a message. It was actually confusing. The slightest mistake could change an entire message.
Indeed, it was rewarding and meaningful for a beginner like me to experience communicating with the deaf and mute. The significant matters I learned in this endeavor were: how to reach out to them; how to encourage them to have a beautiful outlook in life; and how to let them feel that they are no different from the others in terms of achieving their goals in life and that at times, they can even surpass the capabilities of the others. For me, simple gestures of reaching out to them which would give them so much joy may be in the form of a warm smile; greeting “hi” or “hello” using sign language; and a conscious effort on my part to understand and try to learn more about how they communicate and interact with people. I looked forward to the succeeding sign language classes because it would involve an actual conversation with the deaf and the mute. Did they feel God’s presence? Yes. In their silence, God spoke and they listened. In their quietude, they spoke to God and God listened.
Christmas Caroling. The caroling activity gave me a flashback of my Novitiate days — at that time, we (Maramisa Class) were in cassocks singing the jolly piece of Ryan Cayabyab’s “Kumukutikutitap,” the heartwarming “What Child Is This?” and other yuletide songs. The Novitiate caroling was one of the ways in which novices like us were able to share the joy of the holiday season. Our primary goal was to bring the spirit of Christmas into every family. Raising funds was just a secondary purpose. Although everybody was tired, there was no giving up and the practices continued until fruition.
We, the DWFC-Davao community, also did the same thing from December 5-15 with that same goal. One affirming experience was this: Tita Mary Yap, our guide, once told me that she wanted our group to visit the houses of her friends and sing for them because she found our Christmas liturgy to be very appropriate for the families, particularly with regard to the selection and arrangement of the songs. Moreover, Ate Malou repeatedly said that our group was the “most requested group.” What was the secret behind the group’s success? As I mentioned earlier, we were not the best singers among the crop. We simply made good use of our resources — the talents of each one in playing the instruments. The significant matters that also helped made our dream a realization were the positive disposition and cooperation among all; active participation of everyone; words of encouragement to one another; and giving credit where credit is due.
What struck me most throughout the caroling was the warm expression of affection among the family members whom we visited. It was so touching to see them hugging and kissing one another.
Dale was right. On the first week of the caroling, a seminarian appeared lonely and lacked enthusiasm. He chose to remain in the seminary when everyone else was excited for the caroling. I asked him the reason for his withdrawn attitude. I learned that he was transferred to another group because there were already twenty in the group where he belonged and the L300 van could no longer accommodate all of them. I empathized with him and he narrated the whole story.
I had just finished reading a chapter in Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job.” Dale said that “the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.” I assumed that this seminarian somehow felt a sense of rejection the moment he was asked to transfer to another vehicle. We had a good talk and I emphasized his good qualities. The next day, he readily joined his new group. Later, I learned that he began to actively participate in the singing. Dale was right in saying that, “the way to the top and develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” A heartfelt appreciation made the difference. It could turn a gloomy face into a smiling one. How I wished, no matter how difficult it would be, that I could give my sincerest appreciation not only to the lonely to boost their spirit but to everyone in the community. I said this because I had not been used to giving an on the spot verbal appreciation. With what had happened, I realized that the best way of showing appreciation of others would be in the form of spoken words told to them in their presence.
The Delight of Writing. Writing had been my passion — I love writing and I like scribbling my simple experiences, my deepest thoughts, my innermost feelings, and my encounters with the ordinary and extraordinary things. Writing would not only refer to the moving of the pen and leaving traces of ink in a sheet of paper. Sincere and serious writing would require time and the merger between the heart and mind. Time could outline the insight of the heart and the sentiment of the mind.
The heart could not express its deepest feelings and the mind could not articulate its most precious thoughts when they would be engulfed with noise, blare, and other forms of disturbances. They would not shine and their brilliance could not be recognized and even much more when they would be surrounded with so many other lights — lights in their various intensity, frequency, and polarization. The beauty of one’s light would be identified and recognized when it would shine alone and radiate its own light — the light that would stand out in a dark room.
Furthermore, the success of writing would depend on the current state of the body. A sound and relaxed body would be more productive than a body undergoing pressure and turmoil. Writing would be more creative when it would be done with dedication, love, and joy and when it would be free from the constraints of time and demands of deadlines. Writing would best be an expression of what was from within and an imprint of the inner thoughts made concrete. The beauty of writing would arise when the mind would be tranquil, the heart would be serene, and the body would be calm.
There were many things that transpired in the past days which I would like to write about — my reflections on the vocation campaign, the regency evaluation, the Mt. Apo trek, my aspirations and hopes, and my personal struggles, but these did not materialize. I did not want to write just for the sake of writing. I would want to reflect and savor every movement of my pen on the paper and every word that would be published for I believed that those experiences, sparks of feelings, and collection of encounters would form the sacred stories to be shared. I considered these sacred because these were the very moments which would remind me of the beautiful movement of God’s hand in my life.
In my struggle to put things in their proper order, behind the dichotomy of success and failure or achievement and disappointment would be the wonderful grace radiating from the Blessed Sacrament. As I ended this write-up, I started to think on how to plan out my schedule in buying Christmas gifts for the people dear to me — these people, who in their own little ways, had inspired and touched my life to the fullest and would form part of my continuing discernment.
Saturday
NOVEMBER 2007
After the revitalizing hike to Mt. Apo and as the Second Semester of the school year began, I focused back on my work as assistant prefect, community liturgist, and music custodian. I devised a timetable to put things in their proper perspective and was hopeful that there would be a smooth flow of the things to be done, but leaving room for flexibility due to inevitable circumstances. This was how I observed time management in terms of the upcoming activities. Planning was carefully done, and now, the battle had begun with some of the highlights as follows:
Stir Them Up. I had always believed in empowering the youth – with a special mention on those who were under the seminary formation. I know that one way to empower them was to let them feel that they were capable of doing so many things, making things happen, and could be entrusted with a particular task or responsibility.
After the liturgist and music servants of the community assumed their respective offices, I called for a meeting and expressed my intention to work with them closely. They shared their plans while I encouraged them with my suggestions putting much emphasis on the proper coordination and cooperation among all. I had much confidence in these guys — musicians and liturgists — whom I know could deliver. In this regard, I deemed it best to conduct practices for the lectors and prayer leader and likewise, the musicians assigned for the week.
Just Be There. Every 7:30 in the evening, the assigned musician and the liturgists of the week, particularly the lectors, had to practice inside the chapel. I required the musicians to submit beforehand a copy of their songs for the whole week to avoid an “on the spot selection of songs” where they choose the songs just before the start of the Mass or during the Mass itself. Likewise, the liturgists of the week should submit a list of their members with their corresponding assignments and schedules.
As the musicians practiced in the choir area, the prayer leader would prepare the hymns and psalms while the lectors familiarized themselves with the readings for the day at least twice in the sacristy. After the choir practice, the lector would then have a dry run at the lectern. Many were receptive to this kind of set-up. I felt their enthusiasm to learn more and improve their skills. On the contrary, a few were quite adamant, but were somehow compelled to do so because of my presence. I was apprehensive because they might be following my instructions for the sake of compliance and not because of the desire to improve their service to the Lord. This was the reason why it gave me so much joy seeing these young seminarians practice on their own with wholehearted dedication and renewed interest.
Two Ratios A Day. To conducting ratios after lunch and after the mid-afternoon prayer proved to be laborious. It was really physically and psychologically tiring. I made this schedule with the end in view that probably by the end of November or before the Christmas vacation, I would be able to talk to all the first year seminarians. However, it did not materialize. My effort was not enough considering the big number of the first year seminarians. I realized that although I wanted to do more, time constraints were a hindering factor.
The whole process was actually draining because I had to deal more with the negative comments taken in the context of fraternal corrections rather than the positive ones. My only consolation was the thought of helping him in his growth as a person. The most challenging part was how to facilitate the ratio in such a way that the recipient would not be offended or defensive with regard to the comments of the other seminarians.
The conduct of ratio was interrupted when the schedules became hectic. Aside from the practices for the Christmas caroling, the seminarians had to prepare for their presentation in XACOSE and make a tent for the contest. Even when the different activities started to overlap, I could not totally disregard the November line-up of things to do, but had to review and include it again for my December planning.
Get the Prize. Everybody wanted to become a winner. Nobody hoped to lose. Winning was not just a matter of receiving the honor as one had to pass through a process. As the commercial in solar spots stated, “preparation is the secret of success.” Amid the hectic schedules, could one still prepare well? It was relatively difficult. The concentration would be affected. But for one with determination, something can be done. A case in point was what the seminarians and I went through before we got the much desirable win.
The announcement that there would be a “presentation-competition” of the songs we had been practicing for the caroling was shocking. The instruction was that at least five songs would be presented. Five songs? At the time it was announced, we barely polished our second song. I was initially worried about it. Of course, I expressed my desire to win the contest so as keep afloat my group mates during the remaining days of the practice. On one occasion, I categorically asked the group if they wanted to win and the answer was a resounding YES! Everybody was determined to win. Well, nobody wanted to lose in a competition anyway. The spirit of cooperation and unity was evident because we bonded as a team.
Pressed for time, we all agreed to sing familiar songs. The following day, a coincidence, or perhaps, a blessing in disguise took place as I was searching in the internet about harmonica, a musical instrument. I happen to come across a list of Christmas songs. With this pleasant surprise, I downloaded the lyrics of the songs with the corresponding notes.
Everything was prepared – the copy of the songs and the musical instruments. Everybody was eyeing for the prize. After intense practices and arrangement of choreography for two afternoons, we won. Our efforts paid off. We won not because we were really good singers, but because we made good use of our talents in singing coupled with the melodious combination of the different musical instruments — flute, banduria, guitar, and beat box. Our win was a summation of dedication, cooperation, sacrifice, happiness, and fulfillment shared by the group.
This was how I ventured the month of November. It was quite difficult to keep the fire ablaze and to hold on to the enthusiasm especially when I was almost pushed to the limits. I described these experiences with a line from one of the songs of the band, Guns N‘ Roses, “…and it’s hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain.”
Stir Them Up. I had always believed in empowering the youth – with a special mention on those who were under the seminary formation. I know that one way to empower them was to let them feel that they were capable of doing so many things, making things happen, and could be entrusted with a particular task or responsibility.
After the liturgist and music servants of the community assumed their respective offices, I called for a meeting and expressed my intention to work with them closely. They shared their plans while I encouraged them with my suggestions putting much emphasis on the proper coordination and cooperation among all. I had much confidence in these guys — musicians and liturgists — whom I know could deliver. In this regard, I deemed it best to conduct practices for the lectors and prayer leader and likewise, the musicians assigned for the week.
Just Be There. Every 7:30 in the evening, the assigned musician and the liturgists of the week, particularly the lectors, had to practice inside the chapel. I required the musicians to submit beforehand a copy of their songs for the whole week to avoid an “on the spot selection of songs” where they choose the songs just before the start of the Mass or during the Mass itself. Likewise, the liturgists of the week should submit a list of their members with their corresponding assignments and schedules.
As the musicians practiced in the choir area, the prayer leader would prepare the hymns and psalms while the lectors familiarized themselves with the readings for the day at least twice in the sacristy. After the choir practice, the lector would then have a dry run at the lectern. Many were receptive to this kind of set-up. I felt their enthusiasm to learn more and improve their skills. On the contrary, a few were quite adamant, but were somehow compelled to do so because of my presence. I was apprehensive because they might be following my instructions for the sake of compliance and not because of the desire to improve their service to the Lord. This was the reason why it gave me so much joy seeing these young seminarians practice on their own with wholehearted dedication and renewed interest.
Two Ratios A Day. To conducting ratios after lunch and after the mid-afternoon prayer proved to be laborious. It was really physically and psychologically tiring. I made this schedule with the end in view that probably by the end of November or before the Christmas vacation, I would be able to talk to all the first year seminarians. However, it did not materialize. My effort was not enough considering the big number of the first year seminarians. I realized that although I wanted to do more, time constraints were a hindering factor.
The whole process was actually draining because I had to deal more with the negative comments taken in the context of fraternal corrections rather than the positive ones. My only consolation was the thought of helping him in his growth as a person. The most challenging part was how to facilitate the ratio in such a way that the recipient would not be offended or defensive with regard to the comments of the other seminarians.
The conduct of ratio was interrupted when the schedules became hectic. Aside from the practices for the Christmas caroling, the seminarians had to prepare for their presentation in XACOSE and make a tent for the contest. Even when the different activities started to overlap, I could not totally disregard the November line-up of things to do, but had to review and include it again for my December planning.
Get the Prize. Everybody wanted to become a winner. Nobody hoped to lose. Winning was not just a matter of receiving the honor as one had to pass through a process. As the commercial in solar spots stated, “preparation is the secret of success.” Amid the hectic schedules, could one still prepare well? It was relatively difficult. The concentration would be affected. But for one with determination, something can be done. A case in point was what the seminarians and I went through before we got the much desirable win.
The announcement that there would be a “presentation-competition” of the songs we had been practicing for the caroling was shocking. The instruction was that at least five songs would be presented. Five songs? At the time it was announced, we barely polished our second song. I was initially worried about it. Of course, I expressed my desire to win the contest so as keep afloat my group mates during the remaining days of the practice. On one occasion, I categorically asked the group if they wanted to win and the answer was a resounding YES! Everybody was determined to win. Well, nobody wanted to lose in a competition anyway. The spirit of cooperation and unity was evident because we bonded as a team.
Pressed for time, we all agreed to sing familiar songs. The following day, a coincidence, or perhaps, a blessing in disguise took place as I was searching in the internet about harmonica, a musical instrument. I happen to come across a list of Christmas songs. With this pleasant surprise, I downloaded the lyrics of the songs with the corresponding notes.
Everything was prepared – the copy of the songs and the musical instruments. Everybody was eyeing for the prize. After intense practices and arrangement of choreography for two afternoons, we won. Our efforts paid off. We won not because we were really good singers, but because we made good use of our talents in singing coupled with the melodious combination of the different musical instruments — flute, banduria, guitar, and beat box. Our win was a summation of dedication, cooperation, sacrifice, happiness, and fulfillment shared by the group.
This was how I ventured the month of November. It was quite difficult to keep the fire ablaze and to hold on to the enthusiasm especially when I was almost pushed to the limits. I described these experiences with a line from one of the songs of the band, Guns N‘ Roses, “…and it’s hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain.”
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